Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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