How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
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His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
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50% drunk capacity currently
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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