I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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