He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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