If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
