Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
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