so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
