North Korea, Best Korea!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
