They should really pass out barf bags in church
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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