so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
