I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
