yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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