How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
