one might say we're banned from that church
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
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Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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