so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
