you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Randomize
