I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
