you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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