I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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