I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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