cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
