She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
