Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
