Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My penis needs a shock collar
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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