physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
