Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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