this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
