I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
