She's JV to your varsity
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm passing your future prison.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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