Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize