So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
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