If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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