my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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