All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
