I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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