I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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