Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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