found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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