If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
