Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
