I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize