Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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