I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
