You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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