WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
