i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
