Farmville is her only friend.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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