Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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