I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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