I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize