just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
