That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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