I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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