I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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