the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
