I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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