my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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