Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
