God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize