I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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