was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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