remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
