Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You can't just leave with hair like that
We had sex on a dog bed..
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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