Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
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