She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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