it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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