This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
