ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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