I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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