When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
