Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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