i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
